Coping with the loss of a pet
When a dog, cat or rabbit dies, the grief can be as heavy as for a person. In a 2026 study of 975 UK adults, one in five of those who had lost a pet named it the most distressing loss of their life. This page covers what is normal, the goodbye, children, other pets, and where to find help.
What is normal
- Sadness, guilt, disbelief and anger. In Dutch research reported by the LICG, 95% of owners felt sad in the first week after euthanasia, 21% guilty, 17% disbelieving and 16% angry.
- Sleeping or eating differently for a while.
- Hearing the pet at the door or expecting them in their spot.
- Relief next to the sadness, after caring for an old or ill animal. VIER PFOTEN calls that normal too.
How long it lasts
There is no set time. The RSPCA says grief can take days, weeks or years to fade. Dutch figures from the LICG and Utrecht University put the average at eight and a half months before owners reach acceptance, with wide differences, and a closer bond means longer grief.
It also comes in waves. Blue Cross names a pet's birthday and the day they arrived as dates that can bring it back.
When grief does not ease
In the same 2026 UK study, 7.5% of people who lost a pet developed prolonged grief disorder, close to the rate after losing a close friend (7.8%). If months later grief still takes over daily life, talk to your GP. Prolonged grief disorder is a recognised diagnosis.
The goodbye
- Ask whether your pet still enjoys life and whether good days outweigh bad ones. Dogs Trust suggests writing down pain, eating and drinking, and what they still enjoy. Your vet helps you decide.
- Ask whether you can hold your pet, and whether it can be done at home.
- Being there is your choice. Some people find it helps; others find it too hard (PDSA).
- The vet gives an overdose of anaesthetic, and your pet loses consciousness within seconds. The eyes may stay open, and there can be a last gasp (RSPCA).
- Take someone with you. Driving home upset is not safe.
- Decide about burial or cremation beforehand, while you are calm.
- Guilt afterwards is common, even when the choice was right (Blue Cross).
PDSA: when it's time to say goodbyeDogs Trust: considering euthanasia
Burial or cremation in England
- You may bury a small pet such as a dog or cat on your own land. Gov.uk sets no minimum groundwater rules for small pets; the RSPCA advises at least 1.2 metres deep, away from water, in something biodegradable.
- Do not bury at home after a contagious disease or recent chemotherapy (PDSA).
- Cremation goes through your vet or a pet crematorium: communal, with no ashes returned, or individual, with the ashes returned.
- Horses and other large animals fall under groundwater rules. Contact your council.
Telling children
- Say “died”. Blue Cross warns that “put to sleep” can confuse and frighten young children.
- Be honest. Do not say the pet ran away.
- Children under five struggle to grasp that death is permanent; from about nine, most understand.
- Let them take part: a drawing, a letter, a painted stone.
- Tell the teacher.
- Let them see that you are sad too.
Other pets in the house
- They may search, cling, sleep more or eat less.
- Keep their routine, and do not take away beds and blankets all at once.
- Letting them see or smell the body can help. Do not force it.
- A cat that has not eaten for more than three days needs a vet (LICG).
- Changes in behaviour can also have a medical cause (Dogs Trust).
Remembering
A book about what they did is another way. bookofmypet.com makes one from your answers to seven questions and your photos, in the past tense.
- Scatter the ashes on a favourite walk.
- Write a letter with what you did not get to say.
- Keep a memory box, or a scrapbook with photos.
- Plant a tree or a shrub.
- Volunteer at a rescue in their name.
The memorial bookPoems for a pet that has diedRead Luna's book, an example
A new pet
That is a personal choice, and there is no right moment. Blue Cross advises mourning first; if you are unsure, volunteering at a shelter or looking after a friend's pet can show whether you are ready. A new animal does not replace the one who died, and choosing one is not disloyal.
Where to find support
- Blue Cross Pet Loss Support: 0800 096 6606, free, 8.30am to 8.30pm every day, also by webchat and email.
- Cats Protection Paws to Listen: 0800 024 94 94, free, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.
- Samaritans, for anyone who is struggling: 116 123, free, day and night.
- Your GP, if grief stays heavy.
Someone else lost a pet?
Questions
Is it normal to grieve this much for a pet?
Yes. Cats Protection says losing a cat can be as hard as losing a family member. In a 2026 UK study, one in five people who had lost a pet named it their most distressing loss.
How long does grief last after losing a dog?
There is no fixed time. Dutch figures from the LICG give an average of eight and a half months to acceptance, with wide differences between people.
Should I be there when my pet is put to sleep?
It is your choice. Some people find it helps, others find it too hard. Your pet loses consciousness within seconds.
How do I tell my child our pet has died?
Honestly, with the word “died”, and without distressing details. Blue Cross advises against “put to sleep” for young children and suggests letting them take part in saying goodbye.
When should I get another pet?
When you are ready, not to replace the one who died. If you are unsure, spending time with animals first, as a volunteer or for a friend, can help you tell.
A book about what they did.
Make one for your petDigital book €6.99, hardcover €29.99 on top, shipping included. You pay after the questions.